Wow, yesterday was Songs of Joy’s 5 month birthday!  I still can’t believe I’m really doing this!  I’m overjoyed by those of you who have taken the time to read my thoughts and even pass them along.  Each and every time I click the publish button I close my eyes (it’s true – LOL), take a deep breath and try to reel in the swirling doubts about whether I’ve done any justice to the rambling thoughts that have been ping ponging around inside of my heart.  This blog was an idea that bounced around in there for almost 2 years before I took the leap of faith and I just want you to know, the Lord is using you all as a source of encouragement to keep me going.  Thank you for that, I’m abundantly grateful for you!

With that said; I’ve been thinking about something since day 37 of my Lenten reading…for those of you who are trying to figure that out right now, that means I’ve been mulling something over since March 30th.  Almost 7 weeks now.  Yep, 46 days. Uh huh, 1104 hours.  What’s more, you’re probably going to shake your head when I tell you what it is.  Please don’t anyone comment “SMH”…remember I just told you how much of an encouragement you were to me!  ha ha!  OK, here we go, two words, ready?  “But, Lord…”  Yes, you read that correctly.  I know, that is an awful lot of time spent on 2 words, I do tend to over think things but you probably already came to that conclusion.  However, they’ve been difficult to ignore, they’ve been resounding like a gong in my head, since reading them, in the all too familiar story of Lazarus.  It’s John chapter 11, if you want to freshen up your memory…or just sharpen your brain function and do a word search for the reverberating 7 letters. 🙂

Cliff’s Notes version: Lazarus’ sister’s, Mary & Martha, send word that their brother is sick but Jesus doesn’t come quickly…as a matter of fact when he heard Lazarus was sick, it says he stayed where he was 2 more days.  By the time he arrives in town, his sandals barely dusty from his 2 mile journey, Lazarus has been dead 4 days.  Both Mary & Martha pour their hearts out to Jesus basically saying the same thing “if you would have been here…this wouldn’t have happened“.  He is deeply moved.  They head out to visit Lazarus’ tomb, when they get there Jesus asks for the stone to be removed and that’s where it happens Martha blurts out “But, Lord…” and she proceeds to tell him just why what He’s about to do is a very bad idea.  Now I don’t know about you but I imagine Martha’s tone and start to cringe.  I kinda see myself right there, knowing I’ve pretty much done the same thing, YIKES!  I will cry, beg and plead with Jesus about what I think He should have done in my life and then at the very moment I sense He’s about to step in (like removing that stone) I start “But, Lord-ing…” especially if I don’t quite like where He’s headed (like opening up a sealed grave)!  And just so I don’t leave you hanging…Martha had legit concerns about the stench that was about to waft out by opening the tomb…can’t honestly say I blame her for speaking up! 

I can scarcely count the number of times have I stood paralyzed, peeking into my own, very personal, hand crafted burial chambers and Jesus is so moved by my pleas that He tries to pry the door open a little wider but I prefer to give Him my 2 cents.

But, Lord…that’s been sealed up a loooong time (WAY more than 4 days), are you sure you want to go there?  I stand there scared, hoping my eyes won’t adjust to the dark place.  I beg for change.  But, Lord…that is going to be a rotten, stinky mess when it comes out, can we just give it time?  I hold my breath dreading the pain, willing the scab to just stay put.  I cry out for help.  “But, Lord…that will surely reek and be kind of embarrassing, could we leave that one for later?

Sound familiar?  Where are you covering your eyes, holding your breath, digging your heels in…forgetting He is standing right there beside you?  What is He encouraging you to exhume, so He can extending renewed life?  Where do you need to bury the phrase, “But, Lord…”?